on days like tis u really wish tat u were hm in ur room n jus stay there safe frm the outside world....im beginning to get really angry over certain ppl who really are hurting me .....n over guys who treat their gfs like some kinda of dirt....idiots they don realise the pain we have feelings n all.....all they care abt is their selfish selfs i hope guys rot in hell....urgh u digust me....b'day prep is goin well....sis is excited abt my bday haha don wry sis still time la....haha....today wen to meet AJ to get my vcd n as usual i was late .....but he didnt say anything abt tat but ask one thing "uhm where is my card" i was like oops i forgot n he said nvm send it to me la.....phew! thank god he nt angry....haha ....then wen to toa payoh n bought invite cards n ate my lunch there alone haiz....sad but used to it......at least u can sit dwn n think abt certain things in life n i did alot of stuff n later i wen to meet faekah at yck mrt to get the database bk but was late also...haiz wen we wen to sch to get the bk guess wat the bk was nt in yet....urgh waste our time man......frust sial waste our time.....haiz im exhausted ......well atleast i wasnt bored...haha tats the main thing here....


Smile Always(",)
Rajes

wat a week i had....was bz in sch ....so many projects lessons and stuff but i did enjoy cos tues wen out wit my friens faekah n fatin had dinner at kfc had the melts......n wen to amk hub faekah bought earrings cute for her......haha.....n fri it was my mum b'day n i fin late on tat day summore urgh hate tat aft sch had to rush to shops before it closed n got her a handbag....n she carried it yday wen we wen out for dinner tat was nice haha ......but dad as usual condemn me n my bro also join me....urgh hate them to the max!!!......well my bday is nearing but i don feel the excitement ......y i don noe.....but i noe one wish im gonna make i wish everyone i noe are happy n well tats all.......

Smile Always(",)
Rajes

wow ......wat a week in i had......in sch they giv so many project tat i lost track on hw many i hv to do.....as for my life....i really miss this person who i truly luv alot....jus gotten the guts to tok abt it......nt easy being single......but i neva wen on wit him weird huh...haha i don tink so....if u luv someone no matter u are att anot u will still luv him...his nt wit me nw but tears do cum to my eyes wen i tink of him n the memories i had wit him....it was beautiful sumtimes i feel tat his wit me wherever i am .....yday saw my sis n her bf walkin towards me wen i saw tat i tot i saw him n me walkin n wit pain i turn away......i really do luv him alot if there is a chance n he cums bac im still there no matter wat .....ppl say if im crazy or mad ......cos i noe he does luv me....tats wat i noe


Smile always (",)
rajes

First day of sch today was so happy to see my friens n my classmates.....haha.....i pass them my bday invites n fatin kept sayin "its rajes wedding la" haha fatin if my weddin the card more nicer la....haha.....was lookin at all the new students in my sch ehem plus guys haha.....hey cant help it la hehe.....then aft sch met my cu ask her hw was her day n all n wen hm .....ah at hm wow tats a frustrating tot.....dad condeming me as usual abt my studies ...... n me obviously n comparing me wit my idiot bro....urgh i hate tat since small he condemns me no matter hw gd i am in certain things no praise at all.....haiz i guess tats hw a gals life is suppose to be....haiz.....but hey i luv sch alot n am planning to be there always i prefer there to sch tis days.....hmm.......



Smile Always (",)
Rajes

Wow aft so long im writing in my blog n to those who kept tellin me to update it

well here it is n frm nw onwards im gonna update it often.....well during the holidays was bored

miz my classmates n sch alot....n ya i did hv some sad moments too which i don wish to reveal

for nw ....as it hurts....but i will like to thank tis ppl who were there wen i need them most faekah

fatin priya n karthik ( its AJ fatin no worries dn get confused) lol thxs guys for being there for

me.....and yes during the holidays was preparing for my 21st bday party everything is set.....n

ready to go ......haha....nt me la....haha....tmr is tamil new year i totally forgot abt it thxs for

reminding me karthik haha n 4 mths since my granma passed away........i really miss her

alot.....pathi i luv n miss u...wish u were wit me to celebrate my bday.....since im the first

granchild to celebrate 21st bday.....n u are nt here to see it......haiz....oh well......tats abt it....oh ya

happy new year to all indians out there.....



Smile Always(",)
Rajes

Wow after so long im writing in my blog....came bac frm aus perth yday had a great time there

Upon reachin there it was damn cold 7 degree celcious....brrr...haha....then wen to my cuz hs

mum cook there....then wen to temple wow it was peaceful.....haiz.....oh ya i rode a horse feed

kangaroo sheep cow goat hehe.....thank god neva drop of the horse....then wen to

pinnacles,fermantle oh ya n shopping ......but i didnt buy much my bro did though haha.......alot

of stuff.......haiz.....major shopper man.....but overall i enjoyed the peace n tranquility

there....haiz....i cant believe im bac in choatic singapore....haha


Smile Always (",)
Rajes

Makin a decision in life is sumthing normal to everyone

but it may effect others also oni thing is in my case it will oni effect me pretty badly

i don hv a choice in tis case.....i don wan ppl to tink

im such a person .....bt i especailly dn wan

my beastie to tink im like tat in the near future.....

i dn noe if its gonna hurt me anot bt i hope

others will be happy abt it.....i think they will be....lol


Smile Always (",)
Rajes

haiz.....its jus doesnt seem to stop.....one prob ends another pops out frm nwhere....haiz...
wat did i do to deserve tis all i did was wen out wit my bestie bf who is also my close frien...n i told her before i wen so did he tat we were meetin up n stuff.....n we did had fun...though....wen i gt bac hm i receive a call frm him tellin me the my frien was upset abt it.....i ask sumi n she told me my bestie was upset wit me cause i neva told her earlier ...n i told her i was bz in the mornin n by the time i fin it was time for me to get ready n stuff bt i msg her before i left....n i told sumi tat atleast i did told her even though it was late....n i even ask twice if i should meet him anot...n if u don i won meet at all....she made me so upset....i noe her for 7 yrs .....n tis is hw much trust she has in me is it.....wat did i do.....he is also my frien wats wrg in goin out wit him.....if u told me u don like then fine i wouldnt even hv gone u didnt even say anything.....urgh....all i can say is tat u hurt me badly...n i don noe if i can forgive n forget abt tis ...... i jus cant believe u are like tat...best part u don even wan to tok to me at all....im fine wit it...all i noe is i didnt do anything wrg even if it my bf n u wen out wit him i dn mind cause i trust him n i trust u......i hope tis ans ur question di....


Nt Smiling :(
Rajes

PLs stop asking me the same question......i don noe if im celebrating.....my b'day...n i don noe if my parents are gonna celebrate anot.......ok jus pls don ask me anything......being 21 is jus a normal thing to me alrite...SO IM GONNA CELEBRATE IT ON MY OWN....HATE BEING 21....



sMILE aLWAYS(",)
rAJES

urgh hate u to the core since 12 yrs old all u did was condemn me all the way...embarrassed me everywhere u go .......for tat reason i threw mud all over u face n came in top in PSLE....U called me STUPID , U CALLED ME A BASTARD WAT OTHER NAME U HV FOR MA AH.....IM SICK N TIRED OF UR NONSENSE....IM CONTROLLING MY ANGER CAUSE OF MUM......TO ME U HV BEEN DEAD FOR 8 YRS......GO TO HELL!!! URGH I HATE U!!! : (



smILE aLWAYS (",)
rAJES

Haiz holiday started but its so boring wen out yesterday wit menaga n sumi.....was so excited to meet them n rush as fast possible to meet them but....i felt as if my hopes drop in the pit of no return....wen i saw R.......urgh...i told sumi tat i was so happy to meet u guys but wen i saw her i felt upset n she was said she had no choice cause she followed them....haiz...first time i felt upset n regret in meeting them i wonder y.....menaga was complaining abt sumthing then i told her beta dn be stubborn or else its gonna affect ur life....she jus said look who is toking haha....ya she is rite i am stubborn bt im nt attached....haiz really hurt me like hell....wen i said i dn wan a guy they all like yaya rite wateva....y doesnt anyone undertand me for once....wat do u all noe abt me hw i feel wat i wen through....u all think its easy bt its isnt alrite....i like the way i am.....k i admit it im scared to go in a relationship....aft wat happ....i cant take another step n i don wish too in 2 more yrs i wont be around.....so i don see y i mus hv a guy....no one seems to understand me tis days nt even my friens....ah wat the heck i cant be bothered wat eva u guys one to say go ahead....its nt gonna hurt me anymore...

Happy Birthday to my close friens Ramesh Zack Meitong and Peiyi!!

Smile Always(",)
Rajes

Yippee Exams are over!!! woohoo....can wait to enjoy my holidays n rest my brain haha...

wonder wat am i gonna do....during the break....hmmm.....cant think nw

sian haha

but gonna miss my class n friens haiz....


Smile Always (",)
Rajes

Hmm life taking a new twist tis days....haha....fascinatingly i hv gt notin to say for this....
Exams are nxt week cant wait for it to be over.....i really wanna pass.....really work hard tis term....wishing my friends n class all the best for their exams......watelse....hmm....haiz...decided to hv no guys in my life....y?.....a reason i don wish to disclose nw.....wen i told ppl i don wanna be in a relationship....they say rather then tat dn tok to guys...so alrite i wont tok to them....haha....haiz....i don noe wat to say.....i didnt noe tat tokin to guy means tat we wan a guy....i tok to guys to make friens wit them i really wish ......i noe wat i am doin for my life... help me GOD....i really need u nw badly.....


Smile Always(",)
Rajes

I always say to my friends that im happy being single plus available and stuff...in fact i feel free without any guy ......except for my guy friens la haha.....bt then eventhough i do say that my heart doesnt seem to agree wit me .....y....i hv no idea.....bt to me my old wounds are still fresh in my heart it doesnt seem to heal even if it does....i don think i will hv the guts to be in a relationship eva.....ya it was painful....being wit my sch friens and my friens outside i feel safe and happy wit them.....bt there will cum a time where they will hv their own life....then wat am i gonna do...? haha ....u noe wat i hv no idea....i guess i will neva noe the ans till happen huh....hmm will see.....for nw lets see where life takes me....i jus wanna enjoy the moments i hv wit them...nw i realise tat wat menaga said was true we friens cant always be wit u.....we will hv our own life soon...so get a life get a guy....haha i was angry wen she said tat.....bt wen i think abt tat nw.......i hv notin to say .....im blank out.....haiz......god pls giv me the strength to handle any probs or any hurt in me.....thxs


Smile Always (",)
Rajes

9 feb 2007

Yippee common test is over woohoo..... wen out wit my best friend and my close friends today at parkway parade....it was fun.....oh ya lol gt my o level result wasnt gd i oni pass eng....haha frm tis i noe one thing my strongest subject is english.....nw i noe y the eng teachers luv me .....haha jokin anyway....i dn mind abt the results cause i wanted to giv it a try before anything happens....i dont want to regret nt doin it in my later yrs.....anyway i got poly to wk hard on and i gonna put my heart and soul to it....exams.....are round the corner gonna prepare for it n strive for it......gd luck to my class mates.....jia you lol

Smile Always(",)
Rajes

2nd Feb 2007

Atlast Projects are over ! Yippee! haha! Had a great time today first had presentation in sch abt y we can be best friends me and my 21 best friens did it veri well.....had chocolates frm anna,bookmark frm rabiah and farhan played the guitar and sing, sharhan had video presentation of our class thxs bro it was nice....muitong sang a beautiful japanese song...nice one muitong....then we were takin photos like crazy....then i zack fatin n faekah wen to orchard and to eat n wen round fareast ....and came hm...wow veri exhausting sial....but it was a memorable day...thxs guys luv ya alot

SMile Always(",)
Rajes

29 January 2007

Beginning my day was jus goin fine...havin fun wit my friens jokin around and stuff....helpin faekah n fatin wit their database project....and suddenly....darks cloud seem to enclose me....haha...yup me and my bestie fought .....reason well her mum called n complain to me abt her...and wen i ask her abt it she raised her tone at me and i told her u first cool dwn then call me then i tok she said she wont and slam the phone on me .....wow.......wat do i say abt tis n my sis scolded sayin u always giving in to ppl and scarificing for them u neva think abt urself...and of ur feelings...haiz sis if onli u knew....wat i am feeling... but i always think abt others first....its jus me...i cant change myself...dn wry there is someone for me....i noe....God also noes i will jus wait....

SMile Always(",)
Rajes

26 jan 2007

I really enjoyed myself today wif my friends zack fatin faekah liza n rabiah @ taufik batisah

concert it was better then hady's to tell u the truth...had so much fun....i really enjoyed myself to

the max the songs were great n worth listening to haha...n fatin was kidding around wit me

haha.....alamak fatin playful ah u haha.... i really enjoyed myself goin out wit my friens now i noe

wat i hv missed out on for so long luv u guys alot....


Smile Always (",)
Rajes

23 January 2007

Haiz atlast i manage to finmy projects thxs to my close friens.....thxs guys cant do it without ur

help.....hmm im doin the sacrificing thing again ......haiz i hv such a kind heart.....bt i always seem

to get hurt pretty bad......haiz well i can do tis......be strong all the way.....as muitong always says

JIA YOU!!! Haha!!!

SMile always(",)
Rajes

19 january 2007

Well beginning of the year i hv begun to realise who are my true friends and who i can trust

alot of things have happen in the beginning of 2007 my granma pass away on 14 Jan 2007.....it

was sumthing expected but not so sudden though she was sick for the past 1 year those who are

close to me noes wat happen to her.....and i have to thank my friens zack xiujuan muitong faekah

fatin liza rabiah menaga and priya for being there for me when i need them......oh ya and thxs to

my friens in sch for helping me in my project really appreciate it alot........and ya as for the

matters of the heart for nw i rather be wat i am now single free and independent.....i will jus wait

for the rite one and wait for the rite age .........



Smile Always (",)
Rajes